Friday, 18 May 2007

Late Fitness Test For Nev

Nev will be testing his ankle in a friendly training session tonight in Walsall. If he passes without session then he will be cleared to play in our league match on Monday evening. Check back later to find out if our first choice goalkeeper will be back in action.

Monday, 14 May 2007

Perry Barcelona 12 - 5 Opposition

Perry Barcelona turned on the style to see off the challenge of their latest oppostion. In a shock occurance, we were just too good for our opposition and absolutely played them off the park, one goal promting thier sub to exclaim that they had been "taught a footballing lesson."

The game started off well, with a fine passing move seeing Pughie race through and dink it into the bottom corner to give us the lead. He started like a man possessed and soon doubled our lead in similar fashion. However, we began to get a little cocky and got caught at the back a couple of times. Dan, who generously offered to go in goal for the first half, had no chance with the first and was unlucky to see the equaliser creep into his bottom corner. With the scores back level, Perry Barcelona knew that they needed to shape up. We did just that when Az was played through and finished neatly past the opposition keeper. Quickly after this goal, Dave smashed one home followed by an solo effort from H that saw him twist his ankle. Turning away to celebrate, H comically threw his fist into the air and nearly fell over, forcing him to hobble off straight away. Then came a contender for goal of the season, when Todd played the ball into Tapi's feet, he flicked it up for Pughie who crashed home a superb volley past the helpless goalkeeper.

At half time, the score read 6-2 and we were cruising somewhat. Dan started out on pitch, to be replaced by H who could no longer continue due to his ankle. H made an immediate impact to, misjudging a long range shot which flew straight past him. The game became a bit tense, with Perry Barcelona struggling to force the play and our slick passing moves becoming less and less successful. However, it did not take long for us to regain our superiority, when Dan latched onto a through ball and finished from just outside the penalty area, to angry claims from the opposition. I was watching though and can confirm that it was definately outside the area when he hit it and a fair goal. Moments later, Pughie laid a through ball to Todd who had bombed forward from the back and he finished clinically. Another goal of the season contender followed, with a slick one touch passing move that saw every outfield player involved before Dan tapped it home. Pughie added to his goal tally with another smart effort before Todd played a sweet through ball to Tapi. One on one with the goalkeeper, he got the ball stuck between his feet and forced into the corner. However, with great vision he played the ball across the box back to Todd who was waiting unmarked and smashed it into the top corner. Dan completed both his hat-trick and the rout, when Todd dinked another through ball to him and he finished from close range.

All in all, a good game in which we performed fantastically. This was by far our best performance of the season, and if we play like this every week then we will be climbing up the table in no time.

Team: Todd (C) Az, Tapi, Pughie, Dave, H, Dan

Goals: Pughie (4) Dan (3) Todd (2) Az (1) Dave (1) H (1)

Perry Barcelona 5 - 11 Chavvy twats

A depleted Perry Barcelona side were eventually heavily beaten by a bunch of blokes resembling a day-trip to juvenile hall. Only 5 players were fit to play, with Nev suffering an injured ankle, Dan in the land of the pasties, H having eaten all said pasties, Oli on a mad mission to somewhere and everyone else otherwise engaged. So we were left with 5 of us, and no goalkeeper. Oh well.

Todd started in goal. Before the game he was making saves left, right and centre, and was in fine form. As soon as the game started, he let in 3 goals in quick succession. 3 one-on-ones, 3 goals. We started a fight back, with Dave popping up and thumping one home before Pugh got us back to 3-2. Then a long ranger came in and went straight through Todd, who had made several smart stops prior to it. Then Todd and Pugh swapped, but despite huffing and puffing Perry Barcelona couldn't find a goal. Pughie conceded a freak goal, when a long shot banged off the back board, off his back and into the net. A further goal was conceded and at half-time it was 6-2.

Despite some tired legs, we were not beaten. We knew that we could play better football than them, just that we didnt have a proper goalkeeper or subs, so were getting fatigued more than them. We came out in the second half and worked out socks off, scoring 3 goals and conceding just one to bring it back to 7-5 at one stage. Az finished well before Todd rattled home a cracker into the corner. We were getting kicked all over the place, on one occasion Todd holding up the ball and laying off to Pughie who had the goal at his mercy before the ref blew up for the common assault that Todd had suffered after the ball had gone. Pughie did manage to score though and Perry Barcelona were chasing the game desperately. We worked out socks off, every player giving 100% but could not find another goal. Pughie had some good attempts before Todd hit the post with a beautiful turn and shot that nobody could understand how it didnt go in. Then tired legs began to show and they took advantage, putting the game beyond us with several quick breaks.

Overall, a really good second half performance until we got tired. Under the circumstances, we did quite well and hopefully, with more players back (particularly Nev) we will be able to challenge better once again.

Team: Todd (C) Tapi, Az, Pughie, Dave

Goals: Pughie (2) Todd (1) Az (1) Dave (1)

Perry Barcelona 4 - 11 Opposition

Perry Barcelona crumbled like a own-brand biscuit in a steaming mug of tea, in a second half performance that did not do them justice. After a first half performance that saw the team match their opposition, tired legs began to tell in the second half and mistakes were made.

We set out to hustle our opposition from the outsets, with warm up shots so wayward that they must have been deliberate. Martin replaced Nev in goal, and ingeniously fooled them into thinking he was Stevie Wonder, by sporting a fetching pair shades. "Happy Birthday to ya" he crooned as a barrage of early shots reined down on him, hitting him in the legs, face, chest and pretty much anywhere but his hands. The pressure told though, and they went 1-0 up, but our good attacking play meant that we were not overly concerned. We quickly found an equaliser, with good play from Oli setting up Pughie, who rasped a shot past the helpless goalkeeper. We then took the lead, when Todd somehow escaped from the corner past two of their players, and ran into an empty half to coolly slot the ball home. However, our lead did not last long as they brought the game back to 2-2. Todd once again put the team in front, with a run from defence and a strike from the half way line which sailed into the bottom corner. But defensive lapses and injury worries left Perry Barcelona struggling at the back, and we conceded 3 goals before half-time, leaving us trailing 5-3 at the break.

In the second half, Perry Barcelona completely lost the plot and continued the poor play of the end of the first half. We could no longer keep up with the pace and were dominated for much of the game. Martin tried in vain to keep the ball out of the net, but succeeded only in taking a shot to the testicles, in a blow that will surely render him more useless than Steven Hawkings on acid. We eventually succumbed 11-4, with Tapi scoring a consolation in the second half. Overall, a game of two halves. We played well until the end of the first half, but could not claw our way back into the game.

Team: Todd (C) Oli, Az, Tapi, Martin, Pughie, Dan

Goals: Todd (2) Pughie (1) Tapi (1)

Perry Barcelona 8 - 7 Monsters

OK, so first things first. This team probably werent called the 'monsters' but they fucking should have been. Their smallest player was bigger than Oli, our geordie killing machine. These guys looked like they eat people for a living. And we came out on top, we beat them, they tried to bully us out of the game but it didn't work. This match felt like a war, and we won it.

We began the game brightly, in the pre-match team talk having decided to pass the ball around quickly as we had more pace than them. Being big lads, they instantly tried to bully us, but we refused to be intimidated and gave as good as we got. Perry Barcelona took an early lead when Dan finished off a fantastic passing move and the lead was doubled minutes later when Pughie scored a rocket from the left wing. Dan had been instructed to stay up-front and finish off the moves, which he did to great effect, finishing our 3rd to give Perry Barcelona a comprehensive lead. Todd got in several brave blocks and made many strong tackles to keep the opposition at bay, whilst Nev pulled off a string of stunning saves. However, the lead was lessened as the opposition started to get into attacking postions more as our passing game suffered. Too much time was given to their players, who willfully shot. They got it back to 3-2 before Oli scored to restore our lead. Tapi struggled to make an impact on the game having turned up late and in inappropriate footwear, leaving him looking like Bambi on ice. By half-time, the monsters had managed to pull level with powerful shots that left Nev struggling to hold on to.

A half-time team talk confirmed that we could, and should, win the game despite it resembling a war-zome. Personally, I (Todd) was pumped up to hell and relishing the fights, having already punched one in the stomach behind the ref's back after he elbowed me. Everyone was playing quite well and we knew that if we kept playing nice football then the goals would come.

We quickly restored our lead after half-time with Dan finishing off another quick passing move. However, they upped the aggression and the referee was absolutely awful. He gave us absolutely nothing and them everything. Todd got floored with a punch (accidental mind) and the ref gave them a free-kick for sliding in. Absolute idiot. Pughie scored another before Oli performed the greatest piece of showboating known to man. Screw Cristiano Ronaldo and his fancy stepovers, Oli got the ball in the corner having been kicked in the legs constantly. He trapped the ball and shouted "Kick me now, you c**t." The defender replied "I'll punch your teeth out." Oli responded by skinning him and nearly scoring. He did manage to score minutes later though, with a shot that despite travelling slower than a stoned snail managed to go through the keepers hands and legs into the net. The monsters scored a goal that should never have been, Todd practically being the victim of rape as they took the ball from him and scored. Despite protests, the cheating w****r of a referee let the goal stand. Which made it all the sweeter when with less than 2 minutes remaining, having had many 1 on 1's, Az crept through and slotted it neatly into the corner to give us a two goal lead. They scored with the last kick of the game, but it was not enough as Perry Barcelona won the game.

A fantastic performance, with nobody hiding despite some really tasty tackles flying in. Play like that every week and we will be fine.

Team: Todd (C) Oli, Az, Tapi, Dan, Nev, Pughie, Martin

Goals: Dan (3) Pughie (2) Oli (2) Az (1)

Perry Barcelona 5 - 13 Opposition

A second-half capitulation saw Perry Barcelona easily defeated just a week after defeating the top of the table side 9-6. An encouraging first half-fightback was ruined with the conceding of several soft goals, which left the team trailing behind.

Perry Barcelona quickly fell behind in the match, when poor marking left a man free to slot home past Nev in the goal. However, the team soon leveled the scores when Pughie ran down the left and squared the ball to Todd, who coolly finished from close range. The scores did not stay level for too long though, as the oppostion quickly replied with two goals, both of which Nev had little chance with. Perry Barcelona stepped up the work rate and began to control the game. Todd took advantage of a poor pass back and managed to strike the ball into the bottom corner from just outside the penaly area. After much huffing and puffing, the team found an equaliser, with a superb long range effort from Pughie, which hit the inside of the post and went in. However, all the hard work was instantly thrown away when poor defending saw Az get roasted by the pacy attacker who easily put the opposition back in the lead. The situation was worsened when nobody closed down the opposition's defender who struck from long range and the shot squirmed under Nev's body on the stroke of half time.

A rallying half time team talk saw Perry Barcelona up the work effort once again and push for a goal to closen the scores. This came 5 minutes after the restart, when Pughie twisted and turned through the defence to beat the keeper from a tight angle. However, the team switched off after scoring and conceded two ridiculous goals once again. The first came from a quick break through the midfield leaving a one-on-one with Todd, who was unable to stop the shot. In the second a long shot sailed well wide, but the striker had peeled off Dave to find space and slot in the rebound. Further goals were conceded in similar manners, while Dave's long range efforts and Pughie's skills were not finding the net. Todd had two glorious opportunites to complete a hat-trick, with a cut-back from Pughie finding him, only for him to hit the bar. Moments later, desperate to atone for his miss, Todd tackled a player on the half way line and hit a sweet strike from distance that cannoned off the post. Pughie chased back a one-on-one situation and slide tackled the attacker from behind, resulting in an instant sin-binning decision from the referee. The three remaining players, Todd, Matt and Tapi worked tirelessly to cope with being a man down and defended bravely. Then Tapi went on a run from his own half and scored - a consolation for both him and the team.

Team: Todd (C) Tapi, Matt, Pughie, Dave, Nev, Az

Goals: Todd (2) Pughie (2) Tapi (1)

Perry Barcelona 4 - 6 Opposition

Perry Barcelona were edged out on the first game of the new season in a game that went right to the death and was full of controversial moments.

The team started out confident of their chances, after a mid-week mauling of the local pub team, and set out their stall early on. The game remained goal-less for a large amount of time, until the opposition hit a shot which squirmed underneath Nev's body after taking deflections off his leg and the post. However, the team rallied straight after and Dave equalised with a powerful shot after a nice one two with Az. A comedy of errors led to two goals being conceded, both of which were harsh on the team. Tapi intercepted a through ball for the first, but could only divert it back towards goal. Nev made a instinctive stop from the mishit back pass but the ball rebounded to an unmarked attacker. The second went in in similar circumstances, with Oli making a hard tackle just outside the area which led to the ball firing into the top corner to make it 3-1. The game continued to be end-to-end stuff, with many chances at either end before Tapi pulled one back with a long range drive that seemed to go through the goalkeeper.

After half time, Perry Barcelona attempted to up the tempo, but could never quite get back into the game. The opposition goalkeeper made several smart stops, before a player burst down the right hand side and struck past Nev to make it 4-2. Oli made up for his own goal with a finish at the right end that went in off the post before they scored again. Tapi ran down the left side and struck into the top corner to bring the game back to a 1 goal deficit at 5-4 and Perry Barcelona threw everything at the opposition to try and grab a deserved point. Todd had several chances, including a shot that fizzed past the post, two long range efforts before positioning for an easy tap in, only to be shoved by an oppostion defended. Despite heavy protests, no penalty was given. The teams attacking intent left us vulnerable at the back, and when Todd made a surging run forward and Matt was tackled, there was nobody back to stop their striker from scoring an easy finish with minutes left on the clock. A controversial penalty was given, for Nev being outside his area, which he angrily denied, although the player struck over the bar.

A very close game, that we were unlucky not to get anything out of. We didnt play fantastically well, but with two own goals, countless shots, penalty appeals and the like, we felt aggrieved not to get at least a point.

Team: Todd (C) Oli, Az, Nev, Dave, Tapi, Matt

Goals: Tapi (2) Oli (1) Dave (1)